Forget Regret, Or Life Is Yours To Miss

See, theres one little problem with that statement. Regret is all I have right now. Well, regret and anger and hurt and all that other stuff. But mostly, regret.
I know the people who this is about will probably end up reading it, and it'll either give them another reason to be mad at me or help them understand my side.
I'm hoping the latter, but who can say?
Anyway, its harder now then ever. I had a much needed talk with him, but much needed for me is different then what he needed I suppose. I gather this because as soon as I hung up, it was all over, and things were different then what we had talked about. I knew it would happen, doesn't mean I liked it, but I knew it would happen.
Then I talked to her. And that went well, I guess, because she's not still mad at me, if she ever was. Yet I don't know that she really understand what this is like. I don't know what I want to happen, but I know two things. They like each other, and thats the end of that, and apparently its my fault that he doesn't like me anymore.
All I did was try to be his friend. Didn't it occur that it might be hard? I feel bad, because I can be a big person and admit that I am at fault in this, huge fault even, because I didn't treat him as well as I would've hoped. It was getting better, but him being mad about it, I guess thats to be expected. Anyway, I thought last night we were friends again, or getting there, but I have no idea now. And yeah, I hope they're happy. I hope they have a wonderful flippin' life. But I really just..cried all friday night, and then Sandra came to my rescue on Saturday morning. That was wonderful, and hilarious (just so everybody knows, the Golden Compass does NOT start at 12:55). But once I got home, is was right back to crying. I haven't felt like this before, and I hate it more then anything. Because I feel miserable.
Its probably a good thing Sandra took me out of the house yesterday, because apparently they were hanging out all day at one of my other friends house's and that would've come to bit me in the butt earlier then it did.

Anyway, I could continue my woeful saga, but I have church.
Finish later.