Into A Pattern We Fell

There was a bad accident today, right outside my house, and it really got me thinking.
I don't know, I mean, life is so freaking fragile. It really is.
Why do people end it on purpose, when it ends on its own so often? So many things can cut us off, and we just create more. I mean, my Uncle Jeff died in a motorcycle accident and just like that it was over. I'm never going to learn from him, he's never going to see who I am or help me become more.
How many people's Uncle's have our own people shot?
Now I'm not saying I hate the soliders, they're doing their job and protecting us and for that I will be eternally grateful. They deserve the best we have to offer, and they are my heros.
Its the principle, thats all. The principle of war. Not the people fighting it, the war itself.
We play with life like its ours to control, and its not.



By the way, vote Barrack Obama this tuesday, okay? Please.

MEISTERS. IS. MY. LIFE.

...and if you think I'm kidding, I'm really not. Its becoming like what I look forward to every three days in the cycle when I have it. We're working on a piece by Eric Whiticre, which for those of you who know ANYTHING about the current awe-inspiring choral composers would mean a lot (okay I'm not going to go into how geeky that sounded), and its called Sleep. Its literally life changing, theres one point where the sopranos soar into this high A flat and I swear to god tears came to my eyes. I sometimes forget how much I love singing, but this year is not going to be like that. I've made a pact, well I've made two pacts but the "be a better student because you can" pact isn't relevant. No, my real pact is my pact to work really hard at my singing this year. I might get back into women's next year, we'll see how the schedule thing works out, but this year we have meisters and a potential jazz choir (how cool would that be?). Anyway summing it all up today was incredible rehearsal wise. Honestly you should all come to the next concert. But if you call me and ask me when it is i probably won't be able to tell you haha. i'll keep you updated.

Also, my birthday is so soon! YAYYY!!!

Not that my sisters will be showing up.....
Its okay they'll make it up to me.

Waiting for Our Luck To Change

I'm about to illegally download a large amount of music.
Shhh don't tell anyone! But I need it for my upcoming party, which I'm really excited about.
Anyway I think I'm finally getting what everyone else in my life has had, which is nice, because it could get me a day off and a day off is always good. But I'm not planning.
I am really tired though. And annoyed at my sisters because they're both going on cool trips and I'm not and they should care enough to take me but they won't.

Anyway life is pretty good. Happy eight months to me and chris, which is pretty cool.

Lots of love to all of you!

AlBi TRD

I found a new song I like...



Chiara slept over last night, and it was a good time. =)

Lifes getting better. At least, I'm pretty sure it is. But everytime I think that its completely gone something will pop back up again. So really, I'm using firefly as my inspiration right now. River is my hero. How about that?

Works for me.

Anyways, now I have to go do homework. Let me know what you think about the song.

Ice Cold Cherry Coke

Sometimes two hearts just can't dance to the same beat, and somethings are better left unsaid. Now, especially you sister dear, I have nothing I'm upset about so no worries theres no reason to call me and yell about how I didn't call you. =) In fact, things are looking up. The worst in my life right now, besides the obvious, is that tomorrow is only Wednesday. I have so much stuff to do, I don't think anyone comprehends. But I'm enjoying it, I mean, its stuff I brought onto myself. Homework is a side note. But its a side note that must be conquered. So thats where I'm heading after this little rant.

"She can see a little clearer now.
She says 'oh, I gotta go and find me.'
Oh, she found the strength to break free"

I definitely have something to say. Its going to be vague, because publishing my life's journeys on the internet would be, well, stupid. But I will reference to the problem I've been dealing with that my nearest and dearest know about. Its been consuming me, and confusing me, and I've come to a conclusion. Good days and bad days are a way of life. Heres this: I'm done giving in to the things I can't control. My life is strictly what I make it, and I'm making it mine. I have control, I have free will and most importantly I have the God given right to enjoy being alive. I'm sick and tired of the questions and the explanations and trying to catch up on whats going on in my own head. Its over, I'm moving on, I'm packing up and stepping forward.


"All she's ever felt is held back.
She says 'its kinda nice to hear myself laugh.'
She's gonna do a lot more of that.
She's making plans and making tracks."

I wonder how many people in this world would benefit from this kind of break through. I mean, honestly, I'm not the only one with problems. Every single person on this earth struggles with things, whether or not they're justifiable. So it really all comes down to your will to pick up and move forward. A good friend told me that "Innocence comes from how many times you've been in a situation to give up, and haven't." Its not about having some silly hope in the world, its about having enough determination and hope to keep going no matter how bad it is. Guess what, everything can get worse. There is nothing that can not get worse. But that rule is heavily linked to everything getting better. We're human, we mess up, we get hurt and stubborn and things go crazy. But nothing, nothing at all, can't be overcome.
Be strong. Trust me, it feels good. =)

"Oh, she's learning how to let go.
Whichever way the wind blows."

This Road Is All You'll Ever Have

Goodmorning America, how was your night? Mine was....stressful, thoughtful, and now this morning I'm feeling the effects of a slight lack of sleep.

But three quizzes are calling, and a seating audition, so basically, chin up and go for it! Anyways its almost the weekend...which even though it'll be busy....will at least be a break from school. For a couple days at least.

Hope everyone is having a great day.
As far as blog updates are concerned, I've got some pictures to put up and I'm going to try and get a song on here but we'll see how that goes.
I wonder if I'm going to back to school night...hmm....oh well....

Talk to you all later!

All Systems Go

Wish me luck! Todays the day, all systems go, we're having our Churches 170th anniversary celebrations. And I was put in charge of the music, so I did what I could to get a choir going (we actually rehearsed....a huge step for the music department in my church) and pick out some music and here we are. Hopefully all goes well, we have a few last minute kinks to work out but it could be much worse. Anyway, like I said wish me luck because its going to be a big, and a little more then slightly stressful, day.

Yesterday was the Homecoming Parade and Game, which we fun. The game was a little longer then I'd have liked but I had a good time. I actually might have sort of enjoyed a second or two of the actual game, but don't tell anyone or I'll never live it down. I have a reputation to keep! After the game me, mom and dad and Chris headed over for Grandma's birthday party and it was definitely a good time. So in conclusion, alls well in the world of Jessica.

Warning: This may change in direct relation to the outcome of today and the plans made for the week ahead.