Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Ice Cold Cherry Coke

Sometimes two hearts just can't dance to the same beat, and somethings are better left unsaid. Now, especially you sister dear, I have nothing I'm upset about so no worries theres no reason to call me and yell about how I didn't call you. =) In fact, things are looking up. The worst in my life right now, besides the obvious, is that tomorrow is only Wednesday. I have so much stuff to do, I don't think anyone comprehends. But I'm enjoying it, I mean, its stuff I brought onto myself. Homework is a side note. But its a side note that must be conquered. So thats where I'm heading after this little rant.

"She can see a little clearer now.
She says 'oh, I gotta go and find me.'
Oh, she found the strength to break free"

I definitely have something to say. Its going to be vague, because publishing my life's journeys on the internet would be, well, stupid. But I will reference to the problem I've been dealing with that my nearest and dearest know about. Its been consuming me, and confusing me, and I've come to a conclusion. Good days and bad days are a way of life. Heres this: I'm done giving in to the things I can't control. My life is strictly what I make it, and I'm making it mine. I have control, I have free will and most importantly I have the God given right to enjoy being alive. I'm sick and tired of the questions and the explanations and trying to catch up on whats going on in my own head. Its over, I'm moving on, I'm packing up and stepping forward.


"All she's ever felt is held back.
She says 'its kinda nice to hear myself laugh.'
She's gonna do a lot more of that.
She's making plans and making tracks."

I wonder how many people in this world would benefit from this kind of break through. I mean, honestly, I'm not the only one with problems. Every single person on this earth struggles with things, whether or not they're justifiable. So it really all comes down to your will to pick up and move forward. A good friend told me that "Innocence comes from how many times you've been in a situation to give up, and haven't." Its not about having some silly hope in the world, its about having enough determination and hope to keep going no matter how bad it is. Guess what, everything can get worse. There is nothing that can not get worse. But that rule is heavily linked to everything getting better. We're human, we mess up, we get hurt and stubborn and things go crazy. But nothing, nothing at all, can't be overcome.
Be strong. Trust me, it feels good. =)

"Oh, she's learning how to let go.
Whichever way the wind blows."

3 comments :

  1. Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder said...

    wise words from a beautiful and strong girl who can do anything she wants to =)

  2. Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder said...

    uhh yeah about that chem test? I was meaning to wallow in it, but the more I rationalized it, the more ridiculous it seemed to be so negative.
    I mean, I got a 95 and hopefully a 100 on the past two quizzes, and honestly, I'm hoping my grade is something in the 80's. Hardly great, but not by any means failing. and I'll just remember the 5 question thing for next time. The thing I think that got me so upset was that when things like this happen, I always translate it into all other aspects of my life. I was so stupid. I was like, well this means I'm going to fail every other class and not get into college. See what I do to myself? haha but i'm better now and I hope you are too. although you're usually good about being stoic and positive. two of the many reasons i love you =)

  3. BirdingMom said...

    I know my answer is always the same ... "One day at a time" ... "Keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward", but I grew up with a mother who's favorite advice was "Get up and get dressed and you'll feel better", and you know what? It usually worked!
    You are an amazing young woman who can do anything you want ... even overcome these obstacles.
    Remember ... as Dory says "Just keep swimming."